Go borrow a beard - or whatever.

A story about the time I got bullied in 3rd grade and why I am glad it happened.

My first experience with leadership was uncalled for. I was a 7-year-old 3rd grader with zero interest in being a “class monitress”. Literally had no idea what monitress even meant and haven’t used the word since primary school. Also! As I type, my laptop is underlining the word monitress with a red line. Is it even a word??!!

I mean, of course, it is. It is a person who monitors. So, class monitress is a 7-year-old 3rd grader girl-person who monitors the classroom. 😅

I went on a little tangent here but look — the first “people also ask” that comes when you Google monitress is “Is monitress a real word?”:

Anyway. Focus, Enalla, focus. I know now, that for us 3rd graders, being a class monitress [chuckles 🤭 ] was the highest ranking of leadership we could get. And on one fateful afternoon, little Nalla got the role. Apart from writing down a list of noisemakers and handing it to the teacher, I had no idea what I’d be doing in my role. The JD wasn’t clear, to say the least. I wonder just how obvious my cluelessness was, because after class… hm, you won’t believe what happened. I handed my first list of boisterous little kids (aka the previous class monitors that had written my name before). While at it, my classmates were outside practicing a diss track that they’d sing in unison the moment I walked out the door.

They sang:
Alidala zindevu
Onga ochita bweleka

Which is translated as:
The leader — a lot of beard
As though they’ve borrowed it

Two things I was clueless about on this day:

1. What it meant to be a class monitress

2. What this song about the beard meant

I am still clueless. But I’ll try to break it down today - with a bunch of assumptions. I am assuming that this song is commonly known in some Chewa communities and is sung to new leaders who are yet to “grow a beard”. I am assuming that the beard, in this case, signifies growth and maturity. And the person who finds themself in leadership before growing one has to go and borrow it from someone else. Crazy, I know.

I certainly was not “ready” to lead that day. And I imagine that you too have found yourself clueless about a few things. Though I felt really humiliated on that day, I am now an advocate of the Borrow A Beard philosophy. I now perceive borrowing a beard as going to someone who knows something you don’t and asking questions. Or, showing your work when it isn’t quite perfect. Or, asking for support from someone else. And most importantly, not waiting for a beard in order to dare to lead and step into courage.

Keep practicing courage.

*P.S. If you know that song and what it actually means, let me know!

Cheering you on!
Nalla